I had incredibly low point of discouragement yesterday. I don't speculate about this often, but it is likely there was some demonic involvement. I was reading outside on my balcony, and realized I would have to quit just after starting, because my eyes started twitching. By itself, not a big deal. But when I began to think of how every single semester at multnomah I have dealt with this, dropped classes, skipped classes because I couldn't see, didnt work for a summer because I was unpredictably unable to see, quit a job because of this, and how out of 30 classes about 26 of them I have gotten a lower grade (and failed one) because I couldn't do all the reading.........

Every time, every class, has been met with a difficulty no one can see, leading to a struggle that typically ended with me barely squeezing by and/or dropping classes. With all that, the enemy didnt really have to say much, other than to gently remind me of how hard life has been. Strangely enough, the enemy didnt remind me of each semester when I came to a point where I had absolutely no hope but in God, and somehow, in some way I indeed have been able to barely finish each class that I didnt drop.

Yep...It was incredibly discouraging. Yet as I went down the stairs in my new house, I still struggled to find God in the midst of this almost suicidal discouragement. Yet I did find God. I thanked God for my difficulties, for I know that in the midst of great opposition often God is doing the deepest, long-lasting work that can come only out of hopelessness and anguish of the soul.

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